Memilih jodoh

Dari percakapan dengan salah seorang teman
xx: "sudah berencana untuk diresmikan setelah lebaran kemarin, tapi bokap sakit, jadinya mundur. belum lagi nyokap agak ga setuju gitu. lama-lama kok aku kayanya ragu, ya?"
me: "ngg, udah istikharah? minta ditunjukkin jalannya"
xx: "itu dia, salahnya aku belum, cuma ngandelin perasaan aja"
me: "ya ga ada salahnya kali kalo sholat sekarang, mumpung belum terlalu terlambat"
xx: "apanya, wong udah pertemuan antar orang tua gitu"
me: "hmm, nothing to lose kali"
xx: "kalo loe?"
me: "mmmmm, belum. takut, takut kalau ternyata jawabannya bukan dia"

Dari percakapan antara saya, sepupu(zz), dan kakaknya sepupu (yang berarti sepupu saya juga)
yy: "emang kamu udah yakin? ga mau ketemuan dulu sama orangnya? sekali aja. Foto kan bisa menipu"
zz: "engga, udah yakin kok"
yy: "bisa aja di foto lg berdiri, tapi ternyata jalannya nyeret"
zz: "engga, zz percaya kok"
yy: "siapa tau itu foto temennya. ato kalo nelepon nyuruh tetangganya"
zz: "ngarang!"
yy: "emang udah istikharah?"
zz: "udah"
yy: "yakin udah manteb?"
zz: "yakin!"
me: "susah deh kak yy, kalah kita sama Tuhan"

So? Mengandalkan perasaan atau mencari jawaban lewat The Great Almighty?

World War 3

Emang gw se-paranoid itu ya? It was long long time ago, harusnya udah ga ada lagi yang bersisa (iyakah?) Mungkin karena cinta buta, menggelapkan mata. Asal jangan hati juga ikut tertutupi.
But still, rasa bimbang itu tetap ada. Kala kepercayaan mulai goyah, akankah cinta sejati tetap ada?
Hhhh (*menghela napas*), memikirkan yang sudah jelas sajalah..

KeMbaLi

Waktunya pulang
Balik lagi buat ketemu nasi
Balik ke kerjaan
Balik ke negriku tercintah
Balik lagi ke matahari
Balik lagi ke tarif murah buat telepon hunny
hurray

Bangkruttt

Tagihan telepon 3x lipat dari biasa
Dinner per malam seharga 40x lipat dari biasa
Harga oleh2 yang mencekik (ups, ga maksud, ikhlas kok, sumpeh deh)
ATM yang makin lancip ujungnya (kebanyakan diasah)
Tagihan kartu kredit yang bikin pingsan
Bangkrut nih gw
Mesti cepet2 back to work, mesti nambal2 lubang bowww
Boss, sisain kerjaan buat gw yak!! Big job, kalau perlu, hehehe

Finnaly found

Kayanya udah ga bisa pindah ke lain hati nih, hehe ;p

ada yang hilang

Me : Mas,ayo bangun,mandi.Tar jangan telat y,filmnya main jam 14.15,jadi tolong jemput aq 12.30.Bis itu tlg temenin k mall ya,mu nyari kado&buku.Thx.C u soon
-Kangen bgt sms bgini;-p-
Mas : He?1230?Cepet amat?1330 aja,keburu kok.Hehehe
Me : Oh,i love that you never change;-p.Trus tar jam 1.15 kmu sms,'Hun,aq masih ada kerjaan nie.Qta nontin yang jam 5 aja y.Ato kmu mu aq drop dulu k mall?'
Arrggh!!
Mas : Hehe,i missed those moments.Abis itu sepanjang kita berangkat,yang ada kamu manyuuun trus sambil galak.And I have to make funny faces,berlaku konyol,dst2 sampe pusing, biar kamu berhenti ngambek.

Hampir 3 taun 'Na ma hunny ngejalanin long distance relationship (thanks God, kita masih survive sampai hari ini). Tahun-tahun sebelumnya (kira-kira hampir 3 taun juga, jadi sekarang bisa berhitung kan how long we've been together), walau ga tiap hari, tapi ga terlalu susah setiap kangen pengen ketemu atau apa. Dan pasti banyak yang hilang dengan menjalin hubungan jarak jauh, contoh simplenya ya itu tadi, ga ada lagi tuh hunny jemput aku buat nonton ato apa kek (kecuali waktu jemput aq di bandara ato stasiun, yang mana tetep aja dia datengnya ngaret. Jangan-jangan pas hari-H qta married pun dia datengnya telat. Awas kamu hun, mati kamu kalau berani, hehehe). Gimana gak, kalau pas ketemuan di jakarta, dia nginep rumah aku, ketemuan di boyolali, aq nginep rumah dia, jadi mana ada jemput2an. Kangen banget sama yang namanya diapelin (hehe, bahasanya). So, kesimpulannya, kalau sebelum hari-h nanti kita punya kesempatan tinggal di kota yang sama, harus pacaran dulu ah selama beberapa lama. Biar bisa ngulang lagi hari-hari diapelin, atau keluar bareng cuma buat nyari makan malem, ato belanja bulanan, ato apa lah.

Warming up

So many things need to be done, tapi tetep aja 'Na ga bergerak buat start. Nyelesain interpretation dari jaman kapan tau, belajar lagi buat control preparation, belum lagi project yang ga jadi-jadi. Arrghh, mesti kembali lagi ke mood kerja nie..

Blast from the past

Kalau orang bijak pernah bilang 'biar waktu yang akan mengobati semua', kali ini 'Na percaya. Sequencenya begini:
a. Loe suka buanget, sayang, cinta mati ma seseorang
b. You've done all the best to make him/her understand how much you liked him/her (at least, you thought you did)
c. He/She just did never care, malah cerita2 tentang gebetannya ma loe, atau parahnya lagi pacaran atau married ma orang lain
d. At the end, you just gave up, pasrah, yakin kalau dia emang ga punya perasaan apa-apa ma loe dan ga worthed it aja untuk berlama-lama mempertahankan perasaan loe ke dia padahal banyak jejaka-jejaka yang lain bertebaran kaya kupu-kupu di luar sana
e. Luckily, somehow, somewhere, sometime, loe berhasil nemuin another guy, lebih beruntung lagi kalau ternyata dialah mister right eloe
Dan waktu emang benar nyembuhin segalanya. Suatu x nanti (isi sendiri x dengan hari, bulan, atau tahun, we'll never know) akan ada masanya loe menyadari bahwa cerita loe ma dia emang cuma masa lalu. Dan saat masa itu datang, loe akan terkejut betapa dengan gampangnya loe bilang, "Salah loe sendiri dulu ga mau sama gw", sambil joke, secara dulu mungkin loe yang ga bakal berani bilang itu ma dy bahkan untuk natap atau ngobrol ma dia aja mikir 1000 kali saking malunya. Atau dengan relanya loe dengerin problem dia dan pasangannya bahkan bantuin dia solve problem kalau perlu, secara dulu loe pasti udah kesayat-sayat kalo dengerin dia cerita tentang pasangan atau gebetan dia dan boro-boro mau bantuin pecahin masalah yang ada pengen kabur cepetan terus nangis sekenceng-kencengnya atau curhat sambil sesenggukan ma temen deket loe.
When i realized that, i felt trully blessed. Bahwa Allah ngasih kesempatan buat 'Na untuk jalan lagi, move forward (hey, being broken heart doesn't mean you're at the end of the day, right?), nemuin someone yang much much more better (ga maksud membanding-bandingkan, itu hanya dari sudut pandang saya saja dan untuk saya saja). Cerita dulu itu, bukan ada untuk disesali, tapi untuk dikenang, sebagai pembelajaran. Kalau pun harus kembali dengan orang yang sama, bukan juga untuk mengulang kembali masa lalu tapi untuk meneruskan sesuatu yang baru, memperbaiki yang dulu.
All you have to do is just give it a try. You should tell to your self that you want to forget and you really do it. Not just seeing his/her picture everyday ato melulu searching di google ato frendster kabar terupdate tentang dia. Berada di situasi yang mau ga mau mengharuskan loe tetep dekat ma dia mungkin emang ga ngenakin, tapi memaksa diri menjauh atau mencoba menghindar dari dia, even gonna be worse. Let it flow baby, waktu akan menyembuhkan segalanya.
Jadi keinget salah satu episode Dawson's Creek season 3 (ugh, love this movie really much, ga sabar nunggu season 4 dan seterusnya sampe final) waktu Joey menghibur Pacey kala dia dalam keadaan marah besar ke Andie saat tau kalau Andie ternyata 'tidur' ma orang lain dalam masa penyembuhannya di, ehm, RSJ. Kurang lebih begini, "Look, Pace, we're still young, you're 16 and so is she. We just act like we know what gonna be happen next but we don't really know, never. We change our mind a lot, and even our heart, and we're gonna screw up a lot."

Personality test

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

--almost true, maybe, don't know, you say it--

The true me

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be together with you always, no matter when or where. With respect to money, you spend whatever you have. You think good luck is something you won't attain - you expect bad luck. The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out.

Who's The True You?

--i think this is so me--

Bathroom habit say

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours. You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style. You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it. In relationships, you are practical and realistic. You have a romantic side, but you only let it out when it's appropriate.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

--because bathroom is important also inspiring place for me--

Your inner color

Your Inner Color is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What's Your Inner Color?

--jadi maksud loe gw salah milih kerja gitu, ngajak berantem apa?--

Love profile

Aries - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You're quite the charmer. You've got the wit and attitude to attract almost anyone you meet. Out spoken and honest, any date knows how they stand with you. Fearless, independent, and willing to try anything twice - your dates should expect the unexpected. Your negative traits: You tend to be vain, and you expect your partner to feed that vanity often with complements. Hot tempered and impulsive, you've occasionally ended things ... only to regret it later. You're obsessed with being the best, most loved girlfriend or boyfriend your sweetie's ever had. Your ideal partner: A risk taking, free spirit like yourself - who can keep up with your latest wild child antics. Someone stylish, attractive, and fit... who can keep you attracted for months. Is hard to get - and lets you pursue things. You prefer to be the chaser, not the one being chased. Your dating style: Wild, unpredictable, fun, and daring. Your ideal date may involve a couple motorcycles or naked skydiving. Your seduction style: Honest and direct - you have no need for romance or much foreplay. Show off. You like to show your lover how you're the best ever. Ambitious. You often like to go all night - or aim for multiple orgasms. Tips for the future: Start to believe in second and third chances. You don't have to dump them so fast. Savor the process. Sometimes the best part of falling in love is taking things in slow motion. Let go of comparisons. If someone's with you, then you've already one. Stop worrying about exes. Best color to attract mate: Red Best day for a date: Tuesday

What's Your Love Profile?

--honey, you comment on it, hehehe--

Inside the room of your soul

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are quite expressive and thoughtful. You see the world in a way that others are blind to. You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it's all about possibilities. You believe that people see you as a bit small and insignificant. People pay more attention to you than you think. Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

--yang ini kayanya rada bener, dasar narcist--

What's your hidden talent

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative. You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential. Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them. As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

--don't think it's true tapi bolehlah buat lucu-lucuan--

What color crayon are you

You Are a Yellow Crayon

Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors. You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius. Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way. While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme. Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

What Color Crayon Are You?

--lagi bete banget di classroom, gara-gara mesti fishing jadi ga ada kerjaan soalnya yang fishing malah instructornya tapi baguslah jadi bisa nginternet ampe bego--

On my List!

Setelah Samarinda, Balikpapan, Surabaya, Malang, Dieng, Yogyakarta, Boyolali, Solo, Cipanas, Bandung, Semarang dan Jakarta (ngg, mana lagi hun trip kita?), tujuan berikutnya adalah..
http://www.indonesiadiving.com/karimunjawa/index.htm
For the next two-three months, maybe, setelah saldo rekening recover after those great week vacation sama being miskin di Edinburgh, hehehe

--agree, hun?--

Freeze!

Dingin banget disini, padahal masih autumn. Untung aja 'ga kesini pas winter, bisa-bisa 'Na cuma mengurung diri di kamar aja. Juga masih bisa ngeliat hijau dimana-mana, keren banget. Belum lagi bangunan-bangunan lama ala Eropa, suasana mistis (kalau ini gw ga suka, malah jadi ga bisa tidur) dan kunonya, dan toko-toko di sepanjang jalan. Much better daripada waktu di Kellyville ato Alexandria dulu. Kecuali harga! Disini mah harganya ngajak miskin semua, kebayang ga sih satu botol aqua aja kalau dikurs ke rupiah jadi 20rb perak, mending gw minum dari kran aja. Trus sayangnya lagi, tempat-tempat di sini rata-rata tutup jam 6 sore, sedangkan coursenya baru selesai jam 5, mana sempet. Padahal banyak tulisan SALE tergantung di depan toko. Mesti pinter2 nyuri waktu buat jalan2 nie (walau mungkin banyak window shoppingnya daripada shopping benerannya, harganya booo). Parahnya, 'Na tipikal yang malas ngitung, segala ngekurs dari pounds ke rupiah, pusing. Jadi kalau liat label harga, keliatannya sedikit aja. Trus tinggal pingsan waktu liat tagihan kartu kredit nanti. Huahahahahahahha.

separuh hidupku

pernahkah selama ini
ku berhenti mencintaimu
pernahkah kau mendengar
ku tak ucap sayang padamu

di setiap getar jantung
ku selalu sebutkan namamu
cintamu tlah membuat hatiku
terukir jelas dirimu

engkaulah jiwaku
engkaulah mimpiku
kaulah separuh dari hidupku
hanyalah dirimu
yang membuat segalanya indah

bilakah yg kurasa
semua itu akan abadi
kan kulakukan segalanya
agar ku dapat cintamu

ku sayang dirimu
ku jaga hatimu
di sini tempatmu di sisiku
tetap ku terjaga
dalam tidurku memikirkanmu

--untuk separuh hidupku, belahan jiwaku, dan hatiku; 'perpisahan' hari itu sungguh sangat menghancurkan hati--

Being "Oon"

Rada malu juga sih sebenarnya nyeritain ini, tapi lagi pengen nulis aja. Pernahkah pembaca (aih, bahasanya) ngerasa kalau jatuh cinta atau suka sama orang ato naksir ato apalah istilahnya terkadang atau malah seringnya membuat kita serasa berubah menjadi oon atau halusnya tampak tolol (ngg, udah cukup halus belum ya?). Contoh nyata yang pernah terjadi sama saya, waktu jaman kuliah dulu, ceritanya lagi ujian semester, saya emang datang agak telat, jadi ga sempet ngeliat kalau sebenarnya urutan tempat duduk itu tertempel di pintu di luar sana. Menuruti naluri (ga tau knapa, prasaan waktu itu blank aja and tanpa sadar kaki melangkah sendiri), langsung saja saya duduk manis di kursi di samping gebetan yang kebetulan jaraknya ga jauh dari pintu masuk dan langsung pura-pura sibuk ngeluarin segala peralatan tempur buat ujian (jaim dulu dunk, tar klo udah ga ngos-ngosan lagi gara-gara naik tangga 3 lantai, baru mulai ngobrol, hehehe, taktik bow). Si gebetan itu, pertama cuma ngeliatin, terus tiba-tiba nepuk bahu saya dan bilang, "Mbakyu, nomor urut berapa? Itu nomornya ditempel di belakang bangku?", sambil senyum-senyum gitu. Waakkksss!!!! Kebayang ga sih gimana tengsinnya saya. Langsung saya liat bangku depan, bener aja ada kertas bertuliskan nomor berstempel jurusan tertempel di situ. Langsung aja saya ngacir nyari nomor urut saya. Untungnya ujian belum mulai, dan pengawas belum datang.
Ada lagi cerita waktu saya masih ngecengin unny. Kala itu mau ada rapat angkatan, dan saya kebetulan punya sekotak besar brownies di kost-kostan, hasil coba-coba bikin sendiri waktu pulang ke rumah dulu. Saya pun akhirnya berinisiatif buat bawa kue itu ke kampus sebagai konsumsi rapat, kebetulan ada teman yang menawarkan mengantar untuk mengambilnya dari kost. Turun dari mobil teman saya (udah sampai di kampus lagi ceritanya), ga sengaja ngeliat unny lg duduk2 di depan ruang himpunan dengan beberapa orang temannya. Teman saya langsung nantangin saya untuk menawarkan kue ke unny. Dasar 'ga mau kalah, ya saya terima. Nguat-nguatin hati, majulah saya dengan sekotak brownies di tangan, mulailah saya beraksi. Dimulai dengan mba senior yang duduk di sebelahnya (malu lah kalo langsung ke sasaran), sukses, si mbak pake muji segala lagi. Trus mas senior yang lainnya, juga sukses, makin pede aja deh. Pas giliran nawarin unny, "Mas, mau nyobain brownies ga?", tau apa jawabannya, "Ga, makasih, saya puasa". Gubrakk. Ga tau kenapa berasa salah aja nawarin waktu itu, guilty karena nawarin orang puasa gitu deh.
Pasti banyak cerita waktu kamu tampak bodoh di depan pasangan, berlagak niru mencit misalnya. Kalau diingat lagi pasti akan bersa lucu sekaligus malu.